Yvette

While Yvette Moore had heard about the Cancer Society from annual Daffodil Day fundraisers, she never thought she would one day be using its support services to help her cope with the profound grief of losing her mum to cancer.

Yvette, a 25 year old from Wellington, has had several brushes with cancer, affecting her friends and family. She lost a friend to child cancer at just 6 years of age, and her mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, and then advanced breast cancer, when Yvette was a young teenager. The cancer spread to her bones, then eventually her liver, and she sadly passed away in 2020 when Yvette was 21.

“I knew there was an organisation dedicated to helping people and their whānau with cancer in New Zealand”, says Yvette. “My mum received counselling from the Cancer Society to process the grief of losing her health. She was also given wigs when she started losing her hair from chemotherapy. The wigs helped mum with her self-esteem and made her feel like she was more than her diagnosis, and that she could blend in with everyone else”.

When Yvette’s mum was first diagnosed, she had breast-conserving surgery to remove the cancer. She was told that chemotherapy was an option, but she refused, something that Yvette only found out after her mum had passed away. Yvette found this really hard to deal with, as she thought that chemotherapy might have given her mum a better chance.

“I talked to my counsellor at the Cancer Society after she died, and she said there was no point in going through the ’what ifs’ because there was no guarantee that the cancer would not have come back anyway. My mum made the best decision for her health with all the information she was given at the time.”

Yvette still uses the Cancer Society’s counselling service from time to time, as she still feels the grief of losing her mum just four years ago. She says that grief is complex, and strongly believes that there is no right or wrong way of grieving.

“The counsellors at the Cancer Society have been wonderful, empathetic, and good at what they do. It has helped me to feel less alone and process any emotions that come up.”

Yvette says she wants to share her mum’s story because she knows she would want to help others. Yvette also says she wants to share her experiences because she knows firsthand how difficult, ’life-changing in the worst ways,’ and isolating a cancer diagnosis and journey can feel.

“Cancer affects people from all walks of life, and the Cancer Society provides support to everyone. My journey has helped me realise just how emotionally resilient people can be. You underestimate your own strength until you go through something this difficult, and then being strong is the only thing you can be.

“It provided a huge, eye-opening awareness of how precious life is. It really puts into perspective how lucky I am to be alive. I learnt to count my blessings every day.”